I want to thank you

We're back (again). I've written about 100 different blog posts in my head in the last three months and then by the time I got to computer completely forgot them. does anyone else do that?

The last three months have been hard with recovering both mentally and physically. It took me a long time to feel back to myself in both respects but I am doing much better! I have tried to thank each of you individually but I also wanted to publicly thank everyone who came to our aid in our time of need. I can never express how much the cards, gifts, e-mails, meals, prayers, visits, talks, and kind words meant to Remy and I. Being away from our families is hard, we miss out on holidays, parties, visits, and help when we need it. It was such humbling feeling knowing there were so many of you who love us and were willing to step in. Remy and I are astounded and humbled by the people we are lucky enough to call our friends.

When the love came pouring in from so many amazing people, I felt so overwhelmed by it. I told my mom that I didn't feel like I deserved everything everyone was doing for us. She asked me what people need to do to deserve kindness from me. I quickly replied nothing! She then followed up with, but YOU have to earn it?

If I have to be away from my family you are exactly the people I want to surround myself with. I can never thank you (all of you) enough nor tell you how much it all meant to us. The whole experience has taught me so much and I feel like it really was something I needed to go through.

Some days I am totally fine and can talk about babies and pregnancy til the cows come home and some days seeing a mother with her baby can cause me to burst into tears. And I think that's fine, hard, but fine. I'm healing. I also don't mind talking about my pregnancy, it's something I went through and can relate to a lot of women while they are going through at least the first trimester. I hope it doesn't make too many of you uncomfortable when I bring it up. Some day I will even be able to commiserate about the whole 9 months!

Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye.

I’m going to write this post for a few reasons:

• ·         I want people to know why I am sad/depressed/different
• ·        I want my baby’s story written down
• ·         I have replayed it over and over in my head and I am hoping if I get it all down, I don’t have to try to remember it as often.
• ·         I don’t know what I am suppose to do, do I tell people and talk about it? Do I try to not make people uncomfortable? Which is better? What will help me the most in the long run? I just don’t know what to do.
• ·         Only my friend/family read my blog and I think it will be easier to tell the story once

*This is very graphic*

On Christmas day I knew I was pregnant. I hadn’t confirmed it with a pregnancy test so I didn’t want to tell Remy yet but I knew. We were staying with Remy’s mom and step-dad and I was trying to figure out a way to get out of the house to go buy one. My friend Laurie called and we planned for a shopping trip a few days after Christmas. This was my chance, I still had to figure out how I was going to get it without her knowing but I could figure that out later. I loved and enjoyed our shopping trip but it was definitely on my mind. I finally asked if we could stop by a drug store on the way home. I ran in and ran out (paying of course) with exactly what I needed. 

I nervously waited for morning when I could test. The little sign popped up right away and I was  shocked/surprised/excited! Remy was out shoveling so I very patiently waited for him to finish then I continued to wait while he drank the hot chocolate I made him, all the while I was bursting inside. I told him I had a surprise for him that I would give him in the bedroom. I had him close his eyes while I put an apple seed in his hand. Once he opened his eyes I told him that was how big our baby was! I was five weeks pregnant and due August 29! I luckily got everything on video.  Remy was in shock!

We spent the next while talking about OUR baby, planning, laughing, and reading everything we could about what was going on in there. I kept a journal every single day since the day I found out where I wrote my thoughts, fears, ideas, hopes, and pregnancy symptoms(so many).  I took pictures every week to chronicle my growing belly. I made sure to eat all the right foods, work out, and do all I could to take care of this little one. We decided to keep it secret until 12 weeks to be on the safe side (your risk of miscarriage goes down after the  trimester) and loved giggling together about the comments and conversations we had with other people. 

5 week apple seed

6 week sweet pea

7 week blueberry

9 week gumball

10 week prune

11 week garlic

February 14 was not only Valentine’s day for us but also the day we made our announcement video. We spent the evening shooting and editing and bubbling with excitement! We waited so long to share and we couldn’t wait.  The morning of Feb 15 marked my 12 week mark and off we sent the video to our families. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExypIbSSa68

We stayed by our computers anxiously awaiting the skype calls. Our moms were first, they were so excited and even cried a little. Remy’s dad sent us a lovely e-mail and Ashley messaged me on skype completely excited. My dad, step-mom, and little brother and sister were thrilled. Everyone couldn’t have been happier for us, even if they were a little upset we waited so long to share our news. 

Not an hour after the video was sent I started to have some brown spotting. I knew that it was normal and just took it easy and told myself I would just keep an eye on it. I was having a bit of cramping but again knew that it could just be my uterus growing and that it was normal.  As the day went on the spotting became heavier and even was tinged with bright red blood. I called my midwife and waited to hear from her. An hour and a half later she called and told me to come in right away. We hopped in the car and I drove us there. She tried to find the heartbeat and wasn’t able to so she told me she would call first thing in the morning to get me in for an ultrasound and for me to go home and rest.  When we came home I started cramping and it became extremely intense, I asked Remy to call someone to give me a blessing. I sat on the toilet and rocked back and forth, it was the only way to get some relief. Paul came and Remy quickly told him what was happening. I received the blessing and I knew I was going to lose our baby.  As I stood up to give Paul a hug I had an instant gush of blood. I ran to the bathroom. I was in so much pain, scared, and the blood kept gushing out. I was fighting my body, I knew what it was doing and I was trying to keep my baby in. I kept crying out, My baby! Remy and Paul called my midwife and were told to get me to the ER right away. I saw our baby. Our very tiny baby. The only way I know for sure is because of the little eyes. I called Remy in and showed him our baby. I didn't want to flush it but I didn't know what to do. That is the image I can’t get out of my head. Remy gave me some clothes to change into and Paul (I will never be able to thank him enough for everything he did for us that night) drove us to the ER. 

They showed me into an exam room and hooked me up to an IV drew my blood and then did an ultrasound. They found a little debris and asked me to come back the next day to get an ultrasound done with better equipment. I knew it wasn’t our baby so I didn’t get my hopes up.  I was on strict bed rest until my appointment. Paul had waited for us the entire time and drove us back home.  I called my mom and cried and cried. I wasn’t suppose to drive so I asked her if she could help find me a ride for my appointment. (She tried a few people and was able to get a hold of Leah who found a babysitter to be able to take us, I am so grateful to her.)  After a little ice cream, a chat with my mom, and some crying we decided to head to bed. 

The night was hard. I would sleep a little, wake up in excruciating pain, then go to the bathroom because of the gushes of blood and then repeat the process about every hour.  At about 7am Remy woke up and sat with me in the bathroom. I am so thankful he did because as I was sitting on the toilet I passed out. We were talking and the next thing I remember is waking up with my body slumped in Remy’s arms as he was shaking me awake. I woke up but felt so weak I was still slumped over on the toilet. Remy came in with some water, I was too weak to even hold the glass so he poured it in my mouth. He helped me get into bed. I was so cold, tired and weak and he held me to comfort me and help me get warm. We laid there talking (we weren't sure if I should sleep or not) until the next gush came. Remy helped me into the bathroom and I passed out again. Remy called the midwife after I came to and she told us to get our butts to the ER and call an ambulance.  We tried calling some people that live nearby and couldn’t get a hold of them. We then called Erica (Oma) and she said she could take us.  I took a few precautions to make sure I didn’t ruin her seats but I just had a feeling it wasn’t enough so I put down my coat before I sat down. 

When we got to the ER (a 5 minute drive at most) my coat had blood on it. We walked in and the nurse took my vitals and when I walked over to the other window to get my bracelet I saw that there was blood all over the seat I had been sitting on.  The nurse came over and asked me to stand so she could slip a towel under me.  When I stood gushes and gushes came out, my pants and underwear were so full and heavy with blood that they were slipping down. The blood was rushing down my legs and into my shoes and four golf ball size clots fell onto the floor through my pant legs. I was so scared. They had me get into a wheelchair and wheeled me back to the exam room right away while I cried.  They had me change and while I changed more clots fell onto the floor. The nurse was in there with me and had to throw my pants and underwear away because of the amount of blood. She was the most amazing nurse.  We told her we just told our families yesterday, she said “Oh and you even waited.” Yup, we waiting until we were in the “clear”. She told me that no one really understands unless they’ve gone through it and that unfortunately she had. She told me I needed to get a good support system of friends and family and that a lot of women have been through this and that I will be surprised who comes out of the woodwork to be there for me. She was amazing. They hooked me up to an IV and did an ultrasound where they still found the debris.  The doctor did a pelvic exam where he said “wow you weren’t kidding about the bleeding.” He found that I was dilated and that there was some debris stuck and that’s why I was bleeding so much, my body was trying to get rid of it. He showed me how much I was dilated with his fingers and that he was extremely surprised because normally women don’t come in dilated. He also told me that all I have to do is ask and they can get me pain medicine, I wish I would have. They had me clean myself up but I couldn’t keep up with the blood coming out and it was all over the floor. A tech came in to take some blood for tests and while she asked me to spell my name for her I passed out right onto her. The next thing I remember was laying down flat on the bed (I had been sitting up) surrounded by four nurses staring at me and calling my name.

My nurse (Jen) told me she was going to get the head nurse to allow me to stay in there until my ultrasound appointment.  Even with four blankets on I was freezing, especially my feet. Remy, my amazing husband, took off his socks and put them on my freezing feet.  Once, when I went to the bathroom, he made my bed. I was a little warmer after that.

After a while I was wheeled into the waiting room to wait for someone to come get me for my ultrasound. I sat and cried and drank water. Poor Remy hadn’t eaten anything at this point and I told him go get something but he didn't want to leave my side. I hadn’t had anything either, but they didn’t want me to just in case.

I was wheeled to my ultrasound and burst into tears. This moment was suppose to be wonderful. We were supposed to see our baby. I was suppose to look over to Remy and see him smile and for us to hold hands and be so happy to see our little baby on the screen bouncing around. That is what is suppose to happen at ultrasounds. But it was empty, completely empty, and as soon as I saw that I had to look away and cry. 

I was wheeled back to the waiting room to meet with the doctor. I was bleeding, in pain, and every time I looked at the mothers with their children and babies I cried. After what seemed like forever the doctor came and told me that my uterus was empty and that the OBGYN was going to meet with me. We waited again and while we waited my midwife called and told me that the OBGYN that was on call was a good doctor and to trust him. He finally came and met with Remy and I, I am so glad my midwife told me he was a good doctor because he was a complete jerk. He confirmed that I was empty and that a D&C wasn’t needed. I was so grateful.  He gave us the bare minimum of information and told us we could leave once my IV was out.

Jen came back to remove my IV (I left the hospital with seven poke-induced bruises). She gave us more information about what I would experience and what I should do ( and included instruction to have a movie marathon). I told her it was so strange to walk into a place with pants and walk out without any. She brought some mesh underwear (they are amazing!!) and some one size fits all scrub pants. Erica then came to pick us up.

We came home and called my mom, talked to my dad, my sister. I laid on the couch emotionally and physically drained.  The doorbell rang and at the door was Paul with salads and chicken. What a blessing!  I was trying to stay awake but I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I mean I fell asleep during Golden Girls! Who does that? While I was sleeping Leah was so kind to drop off some things I needed  and then my midwife came by to drop some things off.  

I am still exhausted, in pain, and emotionally drained. The hardest times are at night and when I'm alone. I know that it's going to take a long time to be okay again but I know I will be. I still cry all the time. I had bought these cute onesies as my first baby purchase. It's hard to have them in the house but I can't give them away, they were for my baby. MY baby was suppose to wear them. I can't imagine someones else's baby wearing MY baby's onesies, so Remy is going to pack them away for me. TV has been one of the only things that has helped. How strange is that, but it's true I just sit in front of it and zone out. I tried reading but my mind wonders and flashes all the images from the last few days. Talking is hard because I don't mean to but usually the conversation go back to my pregnancy and the miscarriage and when we aren't actually talking about it I'm thinking about it. Mostly I just need someone to come and sit with me while I watch TV and let me talk about it when I want and cry about it when I want and just be here.

Remy has been amazing, I honestly couldn't ask for a better husband. He has been my rock. He has been waiting on me, making me my soup and grill cheese sandwiches (the only thing I want to eat), listening to me, running to the store to pick things up, calling people for me, and bringing home flowers for me. He even moved our bed into the living room for me. I don't know what I would do without him.

Beautiful tulips Remy brought home.

Through all of this I truly do see the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father. There are so many thoughts, feelings, and fears running through me I have a hard time processing it all but the one thing I am sure of is that my Heavenly Father has a hand in my life and loves me and Remy. I want my baby but I know it’s just waiting for the right time to come to us and that we will be wonderful parents.

There goes the baker with his tray, like always The same old bread and rolls to sell

As many of you know, I have celiac disease. It's been a hard life change but it is getting easier. When people find out I have it I get many different responses. One of my favorite is "Oh I could never do that, I love _____ too much." I usually smile politely and make a comment but on the inside, on the inside I think "What do you think, I went down to the allergy store and said hmmm...which is it going to be? Oh I know! I'll pick gluten because it's in practically everything! That would really make my life easier." Honestly if that was the case I would probably have picked anchovies because I have never been to a baby shower/birthday party/Church activity where they were serving a giant anchovy.  

To help Remy understand a bit of what I was going through I did a comparison for him. It's like an alcoholic (carboholic) who is recovering but has to go to the pub (eat) three times a day and make the choice every time to not drink alcohol (gluten). I do feel better and that helps keep me motivated but I still remember how good everything is and I still crave it. Like a poptart, oh the unspeakable things I would do for a poptart! OR pizza rolls or...*wipes drool*  I also get people saying, "You should just cheat." It takes about 6 months for your (my) body to recover from one cheat.

Tanya holding our yummy gluten-free bread.

After all that complaining I must say I am very blessed to find out now because there are so many more options and alternatives than even a couple of years ago.  I have been so lucky to find things to replace most of the things I loved. My dear friend Tanya even helped teach me how to make my own bread so I can save money.  (A half loaf at the store costs $7.00!) I have also been so grateful to those many people who have gone out of their way to make gluten-free items so I can enjoy in the snack/dinner as well.

Semi-unrelated:
I was worried this would come off as too complainy but then I thought, well when the person that thinks that gets celiac then they can do it differently and be a much better person than I. That's my new attitude when I feel like I am being criticized or judged... "When you do ______ than you do it differently and you'll be a much better person than me."  Example I often get side-eyed when I get Remy to carry something and I don't have anything in my hands. He is my husband for heaven's sake he can carry stuff, ANYWAY so in my head I've been saying "When you have a visually impaired husband then you don't make him carry anything and you'll be a far better person than me."

Remy: 2011 - My Personal Retrospective

2011 has come and gone, and it's been a very productive and worth-while chapter in my life. I'm tentatively hoping I've at last found my calling in life, though I know much effort will be required on my part to achieve my full potential. But the future can wait a moment. For now, the past.

This year marked the appearance of my first published work, and it wasn't at all what I expected. In late 2010, I began working on a short documentary titled "Shining Forth: Prosperity". My aim was to make people think a little about what members of our society facing developmental and cognitive disabilities endure in the adult world. What do I mean by the "adult" world? A world where one must have a job and be self-sufficient. The documentary promoted the Farm at Cedar Woods, a non-profit organization aimed at providing such people with a variety of skills to be used in daily living and employment. In all honesty, I think we could all benefit from such a program. The documentary gained decent notoriety throughout Nanaimo, and even outside of Canada. I'm not sure of the end result - whether my efforts helped the farm or not. But the experience I gained was invaluable. Furthermore, it's lead to many subsequent opportunities.
In addition to "Shining Forth Prosperity", I also co-directed, wrote and starred in a public awareness film "Opening Doors", a short piece about art and accessibility for people with disabilities in Nanaimo. This film was a quite decent success, and the team I worked with were a great bunch of people. There is still work to be done even now, and it is my hope our message will reach many people.
This minor job led to a series of transcribing jobs which have provided me valuable experience and resume padding. The most interesting of these involves interviewing and transcribing the memoirs of an elderly journalist who has traveled throughout Europe and the Middle East. He's attended numerous events, from the Geneva Convention to various protests during the war of Vietnam, and well beyond. He's a fascinating man, and it is my pleasure to know, and provide this opportunity to him.
2011 also marked the year I achieved my very first A+ in a university course, and a 100% on a major assignment. I worked for a weak or so straight on an audio rendition of a novel I was writing. The result was a 10 minute audio book with some very nice music and effects. I've discovered I love this sort of thing. I love narrating and doing voices, even if I'm not able to read out loud. I love putting together soundscapes and having people really enjoy them. Everyone said my piece sounded very professional. I could definitely see doing this sort of thing for a living, be it for radio, audio books, or maybe game design. There is a university in London Ontario where I may have the ability to increase my understanding and talent. It bares looking into during this coming year.
Finally, my greatest achievement in 2011 happened in the middle of June. my beloved wife Chelsea and I finally had the unparalleled opportunity to visit the Vancouver LDS temple, where in a very sweet ceremony, we were sealed together as husband and wife for eternity, never to part. It's an inconceivable belief, even among fellow Christians. Essentially, it stems from our church's understanding that the bond between a husband and wife has the potential to stretch past mortality and into eternity. It's a truly beautiful concept, and the experience was unlike anything else. Words could not express my joy upon our sealing, but every so often I look at Chelsea and think "this is forever". And I know it's not an empty thought.
Many things happened this year - both good and bad. But these are the moments which stand out in my mind. Everything I've done, everything I've been through will be essential experience for the coming year. Because this year, 2012, everything changes.

We're back again Brothers, sisters, everybody sing Gonna bring the flavor, show you how

A few weeks ago Laura asked me to come talk at the Relief Society night about cleanliness. I had a lot of fun that night and had a lot of fun preparing for it.  I did a lot of research, like a lot. I actually spent one day reading and researching and preparing what I was going to say, that's all I did...all day. I went over to Laura's house that evening and she asked how my day was I told her it was good but didn't tell her I spent the whole day looking up cleaning stuff...I didn't want to seem like a total nerd. With all that time spent and research I told Remy I was going to print and frame it. He laughed and told me I should because he knew how much work went into it. Instead of framing it I decided that putting it on our blog was sufficient validation.  Some of it will repeat from previous blog entries, some of it I didn't end up saying, some stuff I did say that night wasn't in here, and there was some discussion. Also in the recipes I realized I completely forgot to add something for wood polishing/dusting can you tell we don't  have any real wood in our house.

I’m here to talk to you tonight a bit about homemade/natural cleaners. When Laura asked me to come speak about cleaning I was actually pretty excited about it. Now the 12 year old me never in a million years would have thought that the 24 year old me would be excited to talk about let alone enjoy cleaning. But here I am and I am excited. When talking about homemade cleaning product there really is something for everyone. Whether you want to save money, help the environment, get rid of unnecessary chemicals in your home, or did I mention save money?  

 I am sure many of you have your favorite products that you use faithfully every time you clean. I wasn’t any different. I had my tried and true products. Last year I decided that one of my goals was to switch one of our current cleaners to a more natural one. But I kept putting the goal off and actually wishing I never made it. We ran out of laundry detergent and I decided that it was time to finally complete the goal and decided that laundry detergent was THE ONE. I research what I needed and I decided IF super store had ALL the ingredients I would give it a go. Well lo and behold they had everything I needed. SO I grabbed the borax, washing soda, sunlight bar soap. I went home and grated the soap while watching a tv show. Once it was made, I used it the next day and was extremely impressed with the results! It was simple, CHEAPER, and better for the environment, I was hooked. I have since tried a few different homemade cleaners using simple ingredients.

One was liquid hand soap.  I love hand soap smells good but I don’t love the prices. We always did the cheaper and environmental friendly way of just refilling our bottle and thought that was as good as it was going to get. THEN I found a recipe to make your own liquid hand soap out of bar soap (so much cheaper). So that became my next project. After two failed attempts, which by the way don’t try dove it won’t work no matter what you try, I have cheap liquid hand soap. It is extremely simple basically you just grate a bar of your favorite soap you need a cup so some bar soap you use you will grate the entire bar and some you will have a little left over.  While you are grating you put 10 cups of water on the stove on a med-low temperature.  You then add the soap flakes to the water and add one tablespoon of glycerin.  I had a bit of a hard time finding it and some people won’t even know what you are talking about but I had the best luck at Walmart and Island Natruals. At Walmart it’s in the pharmacy section next to the natural supplements on the lowest shelf.  Once your ingredients are added you stir until the soap in dissolved and then take it off the heat. NOW this is the part that gets tricky. Depending on your soap you make have the consistency right off the bat but if you’re like me you will stare at it and wonder what you’ve done. Never fear there are some tricks I found to help. First let it set over night! Don’t try any of the tricks UNTIL the next day trust me.  IF the next day you find your soap is still too watery you can try a couple of things each time you try something let it sit overnight. First bring it to a rolling boil for a 2-3 minutes then let sit over night. Second  To thicken the soap, mix 3tbsp. table salt into 8oz hot water until dissolved, whisk the salt solution a little at a time into your runny soap mixture until desired thickness, (soap mixture does not have to be hot, can be room temp).  Once you’ve got the right consistency and start using it DON’T WORRY IF IT DOESN’T PRODUCE SUDS! The sudsing effect is actually added to all store bought cleansing beauty products. The great thing about this you could use it for washing your hand, as a body wash in the shower, and many women mention that a lot of face washes are much cheaper in bar form and then you can make your own liquid face wash!

I have also found some recipes of other cleaning products that I wish I had the chance to try before tonight but haven’t been able to. I look forward to making them. Although I haven’t made them I have read comments and reviews on them.

Homemade shout:

2/3 cups Dawn Dishwashing Liquid
2/3 cups ammonia
6 Tblsp baking soda
2 cups warm water
Mix everything together then use a funnel to pour into an old Shout bottle or other spray bottle.

Homemade dish soap:

2 cups Castile soap
6 tbsp water
2 tbsp vinegar or lemon juice

Remember it won’t produce as many suds as you’re used to but that’s doesn’t mean it’s not working!

Dishwasher detergent:

1 part borax

1 part washing soda

distilled white vinegar

Combine the powders in a bowl and mix well, breaking apart any clumps. Transfer to an airtight container to store. Use 1 tbsp of mixture per load. Fill your machine’s rinse indicator with white vinegar, for that extra sparkle.

I want to also talk a little bit about cleaning with vinegar. Many of you may already know the benefits of cleaning with it but for those of you who don’t. Vinegar is a safe, inexpensive, and effective cleaner that is easy on the environment. People choose this cleaning method to avoid exposing their families to the chemicals found in other types of cleaners. Vinegar can also be combined with other products, like baking soda, to expand its usefulness. When it comes to cleaning products, we’ve been programmed to connect strong fragrances and suds with effective cleaning. The problem is that commercial cleaning products contain synthetic fragrances that can cause strong allergic reactions and sensitivities and chemicals to produce suds.

Vinegar, throughout history, has been reputed to have strong antibacterial properties. One test by Good Housekeeping's microbiologist found that 5% vinegar is 90% effective against mold and 99.9% effective against bacteria (kills 99 percent of bacteria, 82 percent of mold, and 80 percent of germs (viruses). Paired with certain essential oils vinegar can replace most of your cleaning products.

There are tons and tons of essential oils out there that are amazing for cleaning. I am going to only touch on a couple but I encourage you to research them and find out more.

Essential Oils:

Lavender
has both anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties that will complement any natural cleaning formula. A few drops on a damp washcloth can be used in place of dryer sheets.

Pine
Pine is a very effective deodorizer, and has traditionally been used in floor cleaners. It has both anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties. Careful handling of this strong essential oil is necessary, because it could cause skin irritation.

Eucalyptus

Instantly familiar, the woody and medicinal smell of eucalyptus can be a great addition to your cleaning. Teamed up with lavender, this fresh-smelling oil will boost your cleaning with anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-parasitic agents. When added to laundry detergent, it may kill dust mites in bedding.

The Usual Precautions for Cleaning with Essential Oils

• Extreme caution must be used when handling
  concentrated natural essential oils.

• Do not apply directly to your skin without investigating the use of carrier oils.

• Keep out of the reach of children and pets.

• As with any room spray, be careful around candle flames and open beverages.

• Do not take essential oils internally.

• Many internet sites and aromatherapy specialists can provide detailed information on usage and safety.

• Many essential oils, such as chamomile, clary sage, wintergreen, camphor, rose and pennyroyal, are dangerous for pregnant women. This is not the complete list, so please be sure you carefully investigate before purchasing and using essential oils during pregnancy.

• Label and store these mixtures as carefully as you would any other cleaning mixture. Although they are made from safe ingredients, they should be treated with caution.

• Always test your mixture on small, hidden areas of all surfaces and carpets to be certain there won’t be any damage or discoloration.

When you are first starting out there are some items that you will need to get started. The initial cost may be a bit more than you are usually spending but remember most of these recipes only use a little bit. Although you may be worried about your start up cost in the end you will be spending far less.

When you are mixing the solutions together make sure to use new bottles. As wonderful as it would be to recycle your old cleaning bottles there may be left over chemicals hiding in the plastic that could react to the new solution.  

Lavender Anti-Bacterial Spray
- 1 Cup water
- 20 drops lavender essential oil
All-Purpose Cleaner (Watch out for a reaction! It will bubble a lot.)
- 3 Tablespoons vinegar
- 1/2 Teaspoon washing soda
- 1/2 Teaspoon castile soap
- 2 Cups hot water
Grease Cutter (Note that if you have a good eye, I messed up the label on this one for my bottles.)
- 2 Cups water
- 1/4 Cup castile soap
- 10 drops lavender oil
Bath, Sink, Tile Cleaner (Again, watch out for some bubbling.)
NOTE: Ideally, mix this one in a SQUIRT bottle, not a SPRAY bottle. It’s pretty thick and almost a paste.
- 2/3 Cup baking soda
- 1/2 Cup castile soap
- 2 Tablespoons vinegar
- 1/2 Cup water
- A few drops of Tea Tree oil

Basic Vinegar Clean and Shine
Antibacterial Formula

Use this solution as you would any other store-bought antibacterial cleaner. It’s safe and saves a bundle!

• 1 cup white vinegar
• 1 cup water
• Five drops of liquid soap

Add mixture to a spray bottle and use for cleaning kitchen and bathroom surfaces such as appliances, mirrors, stainless steel sinks, laminate counter tops and tile. You can add a tablespoon of coarse salt directly on your sponge to act as an abrasive when using this formula on kitchen and bathroom sink fixtures. Vinegar can be irritating to the skin, so please use gloves. Important note about special counter surfaces such as granite: please do not use this mixture on stone surfaces, as acids can etch and damage the stone. Follow your particular manufacturer’s cleaning instructions.

Now there are many many recipes for each of the things I mentioned. You just have to do a quick google search to realize you have options. So feel free to do your own research and find a recipe that works for you and your family!  Think of these recipes as a start in the right direction.

If I still have time: Any questions?  Or does anyone already have some great tips for us?

Laundry

Homemade powdered laundry soap recipe
Ingredients:
1 bar Ivory Soap (or 2/3 bar Fels Naptha)
1/2 cup Borax
1/2 cup Washing Soda (found in the laundry aisle)
Grate 1 bar of Ivory soap (or other not strongly scented bar soap). Add 1/2 cup of borax. Add 1/2 cup washing soda. Mix together and store in air tight container. Use 1-2 tablespoons per load.

Both recipes are for a low-sudsing detergent and work especially well in high efficiency washing machines.
Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap Recipe
Ingredients:
1/3 bar Fels Naptha Soap ( Ivory and Zote will also work)
½ cup washing soda (found in the laundry section at most stores)
½ cup borax powder (the 20 Mule Team brand is a good choice)
2 gallons water
Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. Add 6 cups water and heat it until the soap melts. Add the washing soda (NOT baking soda) and the borax. Stir until it is dissolved. Remove from heat. Pour 4 cups hot water into a 2-gallon bucket. Add soap mixture and stir. Add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir. Let the soap sit for about 24 hours until it gels. Use a ½ cup detergent per load of laundry.

A little note: The detergent has a fairly strong scent right after you make it, but it fades quickly. After the clothes are washed, there is little, if any, scent on the clothes. If you’ve never tried a non-scented laundry detergent before, it might be hard for you to accept that the clothes are actually clean. They are, whether they smell like soap or not. But if it continues to bother you, you might want to try adding a liquid fabric softener to your wash or even adding your favorite essential oil to your preferred liquid laundry detergent recipe.

Homemade Shout

2/3 cups Dawn Dishwashing Liquid
2/3 cups ammonia
6 Tblsp baking soda
2 cups warm water
Mix everything together then use a funnel to pour into an old Shout bottle or other spray bottle.

Bathroom Cleaners

Toilet

Mix 1/4 cup baking soda and 1 cup vinegar, pour into basin and let it set for a few minutes. Scrub with brush and rinse. A mixture of borax (2 parts) and lemon juice (one part) will also work. (this is amazing by the way)

Tub, Sink, and Tile

NOTE: Ideally, mix this one in a SQUIRT bottle, not a SPRAY bottle. It’s pretty thick and almost a paste.
- 2/3 Cup baking soda
- 1/2 Cup castile soap
- 2 Tablespoons vinegar
- 1/2 Cup water
- A few drops of Tea Tree oil
Mirror and Window
1 cup White Vinegar
10-15 drops of Lemon Essential Oil
Water
Mix vinegar and water in spray bottle. Add essential oil, Shake and use.
Bathroom mold
Mold in bathroom tile grout is a common problem and can be a health concern. Mix one part hydrogen peroxide (3%) with two parts water in a spray bottle and spray on areas with mold. Wait at least one hour before rinsing or using shower.


Hand Soap

1 cup grated soap flakes

10 cups water

1 Tbsp glycerin

In a large pot, combine 1 cup soap flakes, 10 cups water, and 1 Tbs glycerin. Turn on medium-low heat and stir until the soap dissolves. This happens fast, about a minute or two. NOW this is the part that gets tricky. Depending on your soap you might have the consistency right off the bat but if you’re like me you will stare at it and wonder what you’ve done. Never fear there are some tricks I found to help. First let it set over night! Don’t try any of the tricks UNTIL the next day trust me.  IF the next day you find your soap is still too watery you can try a couple of things each time you try something let it sit overnight. First bring it to a rolling boil for a 2-3 minutes then let sit over night. Second  To thicken the soap, mix 3tbsp. table salt into 8oz hot water until dissolved, whisk the salt solution a little at a time into your runny soap mixture until desired thickness, (soap mixture does not have to be hot, can be room temp).

Kitchen Cleaners

Stove

1 cup baking soda

1/3 cup table salt

water

Spray entire oven with water.  Mix baking soda and salt and sprinkle over water.  Spray entire oven again with water and let sit overnight.  Use hot, soapy water and a sponge to wipe out oven.

Chopping block
 Rub a slice of lemon across a chopping block to disinfect the surface. For tougher stains, squeeze some of the lemon juice onto the spot and let sit for 10 minutes, then wipe.
Drain Cleaner
 For light drain cleaning, mix 1/2 cup salt in 4 liters water, heat (but not to a boil) and pour down the drain. For stronger cleaning, pour about 1/2 cup baking soda down the drain, then 1/2 cup vinegar. The resulting chemical reaction can break fatty acids down into soap and glycerine, allowing the clog to wash down the drain. After 15 minutes, pour in boiling water to clear residue. Caution: only use this method with metal plumbing. Plastic pipes can melt if excess boiling water is used. Also, do not use this method after trying a commercial drain opener--the vinegar can react with the drain opener to create dangerous fumes.
Dish soap

2 cups Castile soap
6 tbsp water
2 tbsp vinegar or lemon juice

Remember it won’t produce as many suds as you’re used to but that’s doesn’t mean it’s not working!

Dishwasher detergent

1 part borax

1 part washing soda

Distilled white vinegar

Combine the powders in a bowl and mix well, breaking apart any clumps. Transfer to an airtight container to store. Use 1 tbsp of mixture per load. Fill your machine’s rinse indicator with white vinegar, for that extra sparkle.

Floors, Anti-Bacterial, and All-Purpose Cleaners

Lavender Anti-Bacterial Spray
- 1 Cup water
- 20 drops lavender essential oil

Basic Vinegar Clean and Shine Antibacterial Formula

Use this solution as you would any other store-bought antibacterial cleaner. It’s safe and saves a bundle!

• 1 cup white vinegar
• 1 cup water
• Five drops of liquid soap

Add mixture to a spray bottle and use for cleaning kitchen and bathroom surfaces such as appliances, mirrors, stainless steel sinks, laminate counter tops and tile. You can add a tablespoon of coarse salt directly on your sponge to act as an abrasive when using this formula on kitchen and bathroom sink fixtures. Vinegar can be irritating to the skin, so please use gloves. Important note about special counter surfaces such as granite: please do not use this mixture on stone surfaces, as acids can etch and damage the stone. Follow your particular manufacturer’s cleaning instructions.

All-Purpose Cleaner (Watch out for a reaction! It will bubble a lot.)

- 3 Tablespoons vinegar
- 1/2 Teaspoon washing soda
- 1/2 Teaspoon castile soap
- 2 Cups hot water

Floor

1 cup white vinegar

1 gallon warm water 

Mix in your cleaning bucket and use this to clean vinyl type floors. 

Wood Floor Cleaner 

½ cup vinegar

1 gallon water 

The most important thing to keep in mind while cleaning wood floors is that they can not get overly wet.  When you use the above mixture, dip your sponge mop into the solution and squeeze until almost dry.  Then mop.  Never put the cleaner directly on the floor. Dry any streaked or wet area with a clean towel as you go along the floor. 

Give me a break, Give me a break

I'm having a really hard time right now. I don't really want to talk about it but I'm okay. I'm feeling really alone but at the same time I kind of want to be alone but then I don't...it's strange. I'll probably take a break from the blog for a bit it might not be too long but then again I'm not sure. Before I go I'll share one story.

We've been doing one Christmas activity a day this month and it's been fun. This past weekend we went to the Singing Christmas Tree here in town. It was really wonderful and I've been hearing people talk about it for a few years now so I'm glad we finally got to go.  I was describing the show for Remy and the final number the (male) Pastor gave a little message and sang. The Pastor sang and then a young woman took over and sang the rest of the song while the Pastor went back to directing the choir.  I leaned over and whispered "It's still the Pastor." We both busted up laughing and got some dirty looks, oh well :)

Bad girl bad girl whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Tonight was our ward Christmas party and we asked mine and Remy's friend Jess if she's like to come with us. It was so nice that she was able to join us. We had a lovely dinner and the desserts looked wonderful but unfortunately I wasn't able to eat any of them (I only bring this up because it comes up later). Santa made an appearance and then we cleaned up.

I was able to drive Jess home and eventually find her house. We dropped her off and wished her well in her homework filled weekend. As we drove away I saw the big "M" of McDonalds in the distance. I decided that I really wanted a sundae after the day I had and I had to sit and watch everyone eat stuffing and desserts (and I had to watch everyone eat yummy yummy chocolate cake yesterday) so I "earned" a.k.a justified it. I pulled into the parking lot and was about to get into the drive-thru when I see police lights behind me.

First I just thought he wanted me to get out of the way, then I thought maybe it was someone else, then I realized it was me they were after.  I had to back up and was terrified I was going to back up into the cop car and then put it in park and rolled down the window.

He strolled up to the window and asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I was minutes away from bursting into tears when I replied with "I have absolutely no idea whatsoever." He  looked at me with slitted eyes and said "You have no idea?" "None." He was very stern and said "I need to see some id from both of you and registration." I was fumbling in my wallet and he asked us if we had been drinking tonight. I told him "No (Remy said "No sir" and he did NOT like that one bit. He said "Sir eh?") we don't drink EVER."  He looked at me with disbelief and said "Ever?" I said "Never...we're Mormon!" He asked us where we were coming from and I told him a dinner at our church! He asked us where our church was and what it was called, I told him. He said "So you weren't in cedar." "Nope" "And you didn't just leave the Esso gas station." "No I just came to McDonald's" He then left for a minute or so and then showed up on the other side to get Remy's id. The whole time I am freaking out.  He then comes on the other side to tell us that they made a mistake. They had gotten a call about a drunken driver that matched the description of our vehicle. He said he was sorry and told me just to breathe and then smiled before he left.

I was still so shook up I just sat there for a while, I even had a nice stress relief cry. I lived through my first time being pulled over but I certainly don't hope it ever happens again.

So what did you get pulled over for?