First, please feel free to nag Chelsea to write so I'm not the only one doing this thing, will you? Thanks. Anyway, on to the entry.
Holy crap, I don’t believe it … I’m old! When did that happen?
I was talking to a friend of mine today about all the crap that’s happened to the English language because of the internet. The bottom line running through my mind was “what the crap happened to real words”?
Basically I think Callifornication’s Hank Moody came really close to hitting the nail on the head when he said "People... they don't write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English."
Even though I think it’s actually the Queen’s English, I think he’s got a point. (Good job not hitting your thumb with that hammer, Hankie.) We’re basically faced with a flood of pseudo-slang which is totally killing the English language.
Now, By no means am I suggesting we common folk begin to palaver with the elaborate cadences and multi-syllabic stylings of a British aristocracy or philosophical circle junkie. Language changes. It’s an unavoidable reality. But I can’t imagine how “So went tad a bar w/meh dawg dis weekend lol man so fun awesome! LMAO” even begins to substitute for at least reasonably decent writing. (Just an aside, spell check rejected pretty much all of that example.)
Now, I respect the fact not everyone can construct a sentence. I can grudgingly even read a whole message typed by my friend who never even uses so much as a comma without wanting to tear my ears off. And yes, I can even deal with the sad reality that the every day Canadian teen thinks Ebonic slang is (wait for it) “sick”. But all this together in one single package, tied up with a nice pink ribbon of text and internet slang? That’s just too much, even for me.
“But Remy, it’s just so much faster to type this way on my phone.” Granted. But see, there’s this thing called a keyboard. And when even your shiny new (but already outdated) phone has one of these, your excuse loses merit.
SO what the heck does this have to do with me thinking I’m old? Oh boy, you’re not going to believe this. No matter how old you are my dear reader, you’ll probably remember when you absolutely loved something your parents thought was awful!
Case and point: If you’re around 50, you’ll probably recall sitting in your parents’ basement (or some such safe haven) in your late teens and early twenties (or later), smoking pot and listening to some of that awesome era of music that “will never die”. Maybe you were about to get laid like a champ, or even by a champ. Now the next generation? Totally not cool for them to do that in your eyes. And if you ARE that next generation, you might be shocked to learn that your strict, overbearing mom or dad used to be an unpaid porn star, high on life and all sorts of substances.
Is this an embellishment? Probably. But the fact is, the older you are, the less the younger generation seems to make sense, unless you’re progressive, or just trying to preserve your youth vicariously through the lives of your children.
My friends, I am actually at that stage of life, and I’m only twenty-seven. I even find myself using phrases like “back in the day”.
Chelsea and I were having a discussion today about reality shows – specifically the teen pregnancy shows that seem to be cropping up everywhere. She really enjoys those. I think all reality TV is a ridiculous waste of time. It basically glorifies shenanigans people just wouldn’t do in the “real” real world. Now fiction glorifies some of those same shenanigans it’s true. But we KNOW it is fiction, and it doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Anyway, I sort of feel bad about my outlook on them because I think I really hurt her feelings. So if you’re reading this my love, again, I’m really sorry if I offended you.
I remember the good old days where TV existed for four purposes: To Experience awesome stories, watch sports, get your “live news when it happens” and dance to Indian music. (Another aside. I think only my brother Travis and maybe my dad will get the last one. Basically when I was six I loved dancing to Indian music in front of the TV for a few months. Travis still hasn’t stopped making fun of me for that one.) Oh there are still television shows that are pretty awesome. I don’t watch much TV anymore, but I know they still exist. The point is, I hate reality TV with a burning passion, and yet I know how insanely popular it is.
I already know while a part of me will always attempt to move forward with my entertainment, I will always be nostalgic for those good old days when TV wasn’t full of pseudo-realistic plastic people with pseudo-realistic drama, and POPULAR music wasn’t as full of “songs” about clubbing, getting drunk or seeing how many girls you’ve screwed in a week. Speaking of which, what’s with all this friggen rap, and rap with a few lines of a chorus calling it a “song”? It’s cool people like it and all, but can I please turn on my radio without hearing a deluge of that and various nickelback clones?
For the ones or twos of you still reading this, thank you for your indulgence. I’m completely aware I’ve been rather unfair to some of the reality shows and music that actually stand above the dribble. There are exceptions to every rule, yadda yadda yadda. I realize too one of the reasons I’m still a bit of a loser is because I’ve got such an eclectic taste in entertainment. This isn’t a personal attack on any of you. If you’re offended by my ranting at all, it must mean you obviously care enough about my words to be offended. Otherwise my opinion wouldn’t matter. SO thank you, and sorry if I offended you.
awesome!!
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